Well it's been a while. I've been on a really slow internet connection in Africa which made blogging a lot of effort. That combined with the fact that I was investing in my African Blog means no posts here for a while.
So kicking off again with a post about dependence. I have just been learning a lot that I can't depend on myself at all. My greatest failings can be pinpointed to times when I think I have adequate strength, wisdom or maturity to deal with something on my own. It seems like our heart attitude can very quickly become corrupt. From trust to self dependence.
Paul wrote "who put no confidence in the flesh." - Philippians. I'm learning that is a real challenge to do this. To put my confidence in Christ and rely on Him completely. But it is also the basic message of the gospel. Repent of your sinful ways, place your trust and hope in Christ to save you from the guilt and power of your sins here on Earth, and the presence of sin in Heaven.
When I inevitably fail by taking my eyes off Christ and trying to change something on my own, I need to accept His forgiveness, allow His joy and peace to fill me again, constant refreshment of grace.
Sometimes the son of Sinai in me (Galatians) rears his ugly head and presumes by keeping the law, he can earn a little of his own righteousness. Never works, and just leaves you in a worse position as you are then required to keep the entire law perfectly. I'd rather go with the grace option, still it is a struggle for me to accept and one of the areas I know I constantly need God's grace.
The amount of occasions I pray is a real indicator of where my dependence lies. If in myself, I will not pray, rather I will do my best to ensure my skills and my speech etc. make an impact. The fruitful option is prayerful dependence. I can't even transform the smallest area of my own life without God's help. How helpless I really am to change anyone else without the help of God...
Certainly a phrase that has begun to show up a lot in my prayers, and I know needs to feature a lot more, is "I commit", just turning things over to God, knowing they need to be entrusted to Him. Knowing that there is no insecurity He can't secure, no fear He can't still, no sin He can't defeat, no situation He is not sovereign in. It takes the worry away.
11.7.07
19.9.06
Instant Gratification VS Marriage
We bring our consumer mentality to relationships. I wonder where the balance is though.
We say 'if the girl/guy doesn't have x,y,z... they must not be right for me, we wouldn't be suited.'
Thus we take the focus of our own growth and our own responsibility to be grow in God.
So what then is important to look for in relationships? Or is it wise to even ask such questions? Is blind commitment a better pathway?
Some of the problem comes because our whole relationship forming system is largely without biblical framework. Look for a biblical model of dating or courtship as we do it today and I don't seem to find one. It seems they didn't have this quasi period of semi-commitment... This no-man's land of neither possessing the freedoms of singleness, nor of the commitment and faithfulness to marriage.
All that said, I think a godly couple can truly honor God through the way they trust Him in their relationship, protecting each other at the same time as forming the basis for lifelong friendship and commitment.
I could say "give me a girl prepared to commit regardless and we can make it work with God's help"... but I don't think it is quite that simple either, in fact it is quite foolish.
We do need to be wise about who we are going to become one flesh with and there are many things to think through, I just think it is hard to find the balance between commitment and choice.
I think principles are more important to develop then specifics. ie. Make sure you work on great communication and sacrificial service. Work on things as they come up. As trust grows, the relationship can naturally handle harder issues and so on, as both people become more commited to making things work and putting in the hard yards.
Imagine being confronted on day one with all the differences between you, all the other person's weaknesses and bad habits... and forced to make a decision about marriage on the spot. There would be no weddings!!
There sure is plenty to trust God about, I wouldn't have a clue how to create something so complex and mysterious as a deeply loving marriage relationship between a man and woman.
We say 'if the girl/guy doesn't have x,y,z... they must not be right for me, we wouldn't be suited.'
Thus we take the focus of our own growth and our own responsibility to be grow in God.
So what then is important to look for in relationships? Or is it wise to even ask such questions? Is blind commitment a better pathway?
Some of the problem comes because our whole relationship forming system is largely without biblical framework. Look for a biblical model of dating or courtship as we do it today and I don't seem to find one. It seems they didn't have this quasi period of semi-commitment... This no-man's land of neither possessing the freedoms of singleness, nor of the commitment and faithfulness to marriage.
All that said, I think a godly couple can truly honor God through the way they trust Him in their relationship, protecting each other at the same time as forming the basis for lifelong friendship and commitment.
I could say "give me a girl prepared to commit regardless and we can make it work with God's help"... but I don't think it is quite that simple either, in fact it is quite foolish.
We do need to be wise about who we are going to become one flesh with and there are many things to think through, I just think it is hard to find the balance between commitment and choice.
I think principles are more important to develop then specifics. ie. Make sure you work on great communication and sacrificial service. Work on things as they come up. As trust grows, the relationship can naturally handle harder issues and so on, as both people become more commited to making things work and putting in the hard yards.
Imagine being confronted on day one with all the differences between you, all the other person's weaknesses and bad habits... and forced to make a decision about marriage on the spot. There would be no weddings!!
There sure is plenty to trust God about, I wouldn't have a clue how to create something so complex and mysterious as a deeply loving marriage relationship between a man and woman.
Knowing His Voice
John 10:4
…When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice…
…My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me…
Doors Opening And Shutting.
I’m so excited to see God opening some doors. It’s great to throw yourself at God’s feet and say “use me wherever you want” but also amazing to be able to ask for specific opportunities to occur and witness Him move some boulders out of the road.
I was thinking of working part time as a Christian Union staff member and part time in an engineering consulting firm to consolidate my degree.
What firm would agree to that sort of contract? Well, I prayed and one did.
I had a secondary interview with the same firm, and said my plans had changed… to go to
Nothing can stand in the way of His purpose. Not a red sea, not a tombstone.
Obey God in all things, humble yourself before Him. Then ask whatever you want and He will give it.
John 14:13
And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.
When Handshakes Are Not Enough
Seems when I catch up with my Christian bloke mates these days, we always embrace with man hugs. I used to think this was just because a previous generation of men had been slightly uncomfortable with their sexuality. Or perhaps emotionally restrained under the inference that they were a “tougher” man as a result of emotional coldness.
I’m sure in generations past when two men shook hands heartily with nothing further, they meant it, and it was enough. These days it seems the handshake is just more for the person you don’t know so much or don’t expect to see again, but want to express some parting sentiment to.
Boundaries are a good thing and not allowing all emotions to gush forth is also good, but it’s an interesting phenomenon to think about where this additional thrust toward physical affection has spawned from...
Then there is the biblical precedent of “greeting each other with a holy kiss”, still an expression of affection within our society that has its share of presumption and assumption attached and I wouldn’t even think about kissing a good bloke mate, just doesn’t register as an option.
If I have a son, I would like to give him hugs and kisses growing up though. Cement into his character that his father loves him heaps, and that his Father loves him heaps too.24.8.06
And the Devil Flees...
James 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
It's true you know, what an absolutly amazing and promising passage this is.
The submit seems intricately connected to the humility in the preceeding verse.
If I could tell you that at any time of testing or struggle, that you can make the Devil flee, what a liberation. Well, just read the above.
Have you experienced the reality of this simple promise?
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
It's true you know, what an absolutly amazing and promising passage this is.
The submit seems intricately connected to the humility in the preceeding verse.
If I could tell you that at any time of testing or struggle, that you can make the Devil flee, what a liberation. Well, just read the above.
Have you experienced the reality of this simple promise?
21.8.06
Foundations.
At the very beginnings of the sacrificial system in the old testament... The first sacrifices has just been offered to the Lord and consumed by Him. The people are awestruck...
Leviticus 10
"Aaron's sons Nadab and Abihu took their censers, put fire in them and added incense; and they offered unauthorized fire before the LORD, contrary to his command. So fire came out from the presence of the LORD and consumed them, and they died before the LORD. "
The Spirit has first come to the believers after Christ's resurrection, and a great sense of unity, love and generousity is laying the foundation for the church...
Acts 5
...Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit... You have not lied to men but to God... When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died... [later his wife came]... Peter said to her, "How could you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord? ...At that moment she fell down at his feet and died... Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events.
Foundations are so important!!
Why doesn't God strike dead every person who treated the OT offerings with contempt... why doesn't He strike dead everyone who lies and withholds from Him like Ananias and his wife did?
It seems that God is highly concerned with foundations... and so should we be. Before any new venture... any big decision facing us, we should lay a thorough foundation of prayer and dependance, seeking His will through His word and waiting continually for His wisdom, timing and peace as we progress with our actions.
Fat Priests
Stealing the fat portions...
1 Samuel 2:17 , 4:18.
"...This sin of the young men was very great in the LORD's sight, for they were treating the LORD's offering with contempt..."
"...When he mentioned the ark of God, Eli fell backward off his chair by the side of the gate. His neck was broken and he died, for he was an old man and heavy..."
A tragic story of two unruly sons and an old father who, it appears, was tainted with their wicked rebellion, robbing his rebuke of any authority. One of God's main grievances with Eli's sons was that they mocked His offering. They took the best portions for themselves although they belonged to God.
The challenge as I read this passage:
Do I offer God the "fat portions" in my life, or seek to keep them for myself. Do I give my first offerings of time and energy directly to Him? Do I give them to my academic pursits? Do I give them to my lovely girlfriend? Do I use them for seeking my own blessings in Christ?
I've been seeking to give God my sharpest moments and freshest time, the first of physical resources.
God doesn't want the scraps and the dregs.
1 Samuel 2:17 , 4:18.
"...This sin of the young men was very great in the LORD's sight, for they were treating the LORD's offering with contempt..."
"...When he mentioned the ark of God, Eli fell backward off his chair by the side of the gate. His neck was broken and he died, for he was an old man and heavy..."
A tragic story of two unruly sons and an old father who, it appears, was tainted with their wicked rebellion, robbing his rebuke of any authority. One of God's main grievances with Eli's sons was that they mocked His offering. They took the best portions for themselves although they belonged to God.
The challenge as I read this passage:
Do I offer God the "fat portions" in my life, or seek to keep them for myself. Do I give my first offerings of time and energy directly to Him? Do I give them to my academic pursits? Do I give them to my lovely girlfriend? Do I use them for seeking my own blessings in Christ?
I've been seeking to give God my sharpest moments and freshest time, the first of physical resources.
God doesn't want the scraps and the dregs.
The Lesser Known.
Shameless plug for some lesser known bands.
Caedmon's Call. - especially their later stuff is just really encouraging. My girlfriend bought me "In the Company of Angels II" (2006) for my birthday, a really uplifting new album from the guys. They are really Christ focused and reasonably mellow too. Go to a christian bookshop and have a listen.
Andrew Peterson - I still struggle to understand why this guy has not found a bigger following in Australia. His music is so uplifting, heartfelt and biblical. Go to his website. "Love and Thunder" is my favorite album so far. I'm slowly getting more people into his music.
Keith Green - He died nearly 25 years ago, but the raw passion and his strong desire for personal holyness is still a real challenge. I have all his sheet music and love to play it on guitar.
Caedmon's Call. - especially their later stuff is just really encouraging. My girlfriend bought me "In the Company of Angels II" (2006) for my birthday, a really uplifting new album from the guys. They are really Christ focused and reasonably mellow too. Go to a christian bookshop and have a listen.
Andrew Peterson - I still struggle to understand why this guy has not found a bigger following in Australia. His music is so uplifting, heartfelt and biblical. Go to his website. "Love and Thunder" is my favorite album so far. I'm slowly getting more people into his music.
Keith Green - He died nearly 25 years ago, but the raw passion and his strong desire for personal holyness is still a real challenge. I have all his sheet music and love to play it on guitar.
11.8.06
A thermometer
I've been reflecting on prayer quite a bit of late.
In australian ministry and churchianity it seems like it just doesn't happen all that much.
"What a man is alone on his knees before God, that he is, and no more" - Robert Murray M'Cheyne
The power in your spiritual life for resisting sin, for changing to become more like Jesus, for being fruitful in all your efforts, seeing souls turned from dark to light... All these can only be a result of answered prayer.
Just pray.
Be obedient to the Word of God, and know His will through it, then mountains can be moved, the heavens can stop sending rain [James 5], solar bodies and systems can be changed etc.
Just pray.
The very essence of sin is independance from God. Rebellion against Him can be simply ignoring His word, leaving righteous works undone or not considering Him first in the smallest endeavor.
The thing about prayer is that we never know how much more fruitful, how much more satisfying, our ministry and joy in Christ can be, because we never taste it.
We kid ourselves that what we are seeing is the full blessing of God upon our works when in fact it is most likely crumbs compared to the power of the divine hand we could witness if we exercised more dependance.
Reading Esther, Nehemiah, Isaiah... prayer was such a fundamental aspect of each account, I don't think these stories would be in the bible except for the prayer. They wouldn't have occured. Not worth dwelling on hypotheticals though. Lets just pray.
God has been answering lots of my prayers lately and its such a great encouragement and source of spiritual strength. All praise to Him.
I'm grieved for those who never know these joys because they never trust enough to experience them. How many of God's uncounted spiritual blessings in Christ [Eph 1:3] are similarly unexperienced. A.W.Tozer calls it the second greatest tradgedy of mankind, the first being our fall and rebellion toward God.
In australian ministry and churchianity it seems like it just doesn't happen all that much.
"What a man is alone on his knees before God, that he is, and no more" - Robert Murray M'Cheyne
The power in your spiritual life for resisting sin, for changing to become more like Jesus, for being fruitful in all your efforts, seeing souls turned from dark to light... All these can only be a result of answered prayer.
Just pray.
Be obedient to the Word of God, and know His will through it, then mountains can be moved, the heavens can stop sending rain [James 5], solar bodies and systems can be changed etc.
Just pray.
The very essence of sin is independance from God. Rebellion against Him can be simply ignoring His word, leaving righteous works undone or not considering Him first in the smallest endeavor.
The thing about prayer is that we never know how much more fruitful, how much more satisfying, our ministry and joy in Christ can be, because we never taste it.
We kid ourselves that what we are seeing is the full blessing of God upon our works when in fact it is most likely crumbs compared to the power of the divine hand we could witness if we exercised more dependance.
Reading Esther, Nehemiah, Isaiah... prayer was such a fundamental aspect of each account, I don't think these stories would be in the bible except for the prayer. They wouldn't have occured. Not worth dwelling on hypotheticals though. Lets just pray.
God has been answering lots of my prayers lately and its such a great encouragement and source of spiritual strength. All praise to Him.
I'm grieved for those who never know these joys because they never trust enough to experience them. How many of God's uncounted spiritual blessings in Christ [Eph 1:3] are similarly unexperienced. A.W.Tozer calls it the second greatest tradgedy of mankind, the first being our fall and rebellion toward God.
2.8.06
God of the Season
This one was from a few days back but couldn't post because the internet was broken.
It seems so many things are seasonal down here... maybe just to remind us that home isn't here...
Our hearts were created for eternity... permancency... but we just see restless decay and change and death.
In His Sovereignty, God has arranged seasons and declared them to exist. Ecclesiastes seems to me to be a book which answers the unanswerable. It's wisdom is profound... I think it silences questions you may have. Maybe it captures an element of mystery that some other wisdom literature just doesn't have so much.
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Later in the book it is declared the godly man knows both judgement and time.
We are taught to "tell the time" when we are young but we must learn through experience how to "tell the time" in this sense.
Lost in the mystery.
It seems so many things are seasonal down here... maybe just to remind us that home isn't here...
Our hearts were created for eternity... permancency... but we just see restless decay and change and death.
In His Sovereignty, God has arranged seasons and declared them to exist. Ecclesiastes seems to me to be a book which answers the unanswerable. It's wisdom is profound... I think it silences questions you may have. Maybe it captures an element of mystery that some other wisdom literature just doesn't have so much.
Ecclesiastes 3 - A Time for Everything.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Later in the book it is declared the godly man knows both judgement and time.
We are taught to "tell the time" when we are young but we must learn through experience how to "tell the time" in this sense.
Lost in the mystery.
Beggars.
So we were at Macca's ( just trying to keep warm - but we bought a packet of fries between the half a dozen of us.)
We were reading some bible after the prayer events in the last post. We were just talking about people who ask for money, wondering how to treat them, how to react and relate.
A guy came in and asked us for money. "His grandma died two weeks ago, he was kicked out of that place and needed food." When we offered to buy food, the story changed to needing rent money. There were holes everywhere in his story, and while his clothes looked newish... he did smell a lot.
anyway... it is just so hard sometimes to know how to be Christlike here... Here was a guy lieing to us, quite regularly claiming he "knew God and Jesus". He had some crazy ideas about ghosts, aliens and so on, seemed like he wasn't all there.
In the end I said I would give him $5 if he heard me out. I told him his story was barely believeable but that we did want to be compassionate because God has showed his love to us.
We dialogued about God and Jesus and so on, he knew nothing really but had no shortage of things to say anyway. I tried to get the gospel in but it was pretty hard and intermittent. In the end we left it that we were giving him money because God loves us. He walked away with $15 but I wonder whether we just just shortchanged Christ.
Jesus never had money really and so the people coming to him had different motives it would seem. Hard to say, I just knew Jesus would have known the perfect response and reaction to this guy, whilst I felt totally inadequate to know how to handle him.
We all prayed for him after he left... God the rest is up to you. We hope a nice aftertaste remains in this guy after his brush with us.
Reading Isaiah today, in the early chapters it seems some of the crowning signs of depravity within their society (in God's eyes) were their neglet of the fatherless and the widow.
Our society is easily wotrthy to recieve the same rebuke, but God's voice wasn't super clear with this guy, just didn't know how to penetrate the christian rhetoric he has learned in the traps. Didn't know what to believe or how to actually say something that he heard. We'd be utterly bewildered if we couldn't pray.
We were reading some bible after the prayer events in the last post. We were just talking about people who ask for money, wondering how to treat them, how to react and relate.
A guy came in and asked us for money. "His grandma died two weeks ago, he was kicked out of that place and needed food." When we offered to buy food, the story changed to needing rent money. There were holes everywhere in his story, and while his clothes looked newish... he did smell a lot.
anyway... it is just so hard sometimes to know how to be Christlike here... Here was a guy lieing to us, quite regularly claiming he "knew God and Jesus". He had some crazy ideas about ghosts, aliens and so on, seemed like he wasn't all there.
In the end I said I would give him $5 if he heard me out. I told him his story was barely believeable but that we did want to be compassionate because God has showed his love to us.
We dialogued about God and Jesus and so on, he knew nothing really but had no shortage of things to say anyway. I tried to get the gospel in but it was pretty hard and intermittent. In the end we left it that we were giving him money because God loves us. He walked away with $15 but I wonder whether we just just shortchanged Christ.
Jesus never had money really and so the people coming to him had different motives it would seem. Hard to say, I just knew Jesus would have known the perfect response and reaction to this guy, whilst I felt totally inadequate to know how to handle him.
We all prayed for him after he left... God the rest is up to you. We hope a nice aftertaste remains in this guy after his brush with us.
Reading Isaiah today, in the early chapters it seems some of the crowning signs of depravity within their society (in God's eyes) were their neglet of the fatherless and the widow.
Our society is easily wotrthy to recieve the same rebuke, but God's voice wasn't super clear with this guy, just didn't know how to penetrate the christian rhetoric he has learned in the traps. Didn't know what to believe or how to actually say something that he heard. We'd be utterly bewildered if we couldn't pray.
1.8.06
Piercing the Darkness.
Ok, so tonight brought a really thought provoking sequence of events. As part of a prayer rally, we drove around to three different places. First a centre of education, then a centre of entertainment for young adults, and finally somewhere that has a significant impact on our society.
At each place we prayed and asked God to transform things by His power. We went to Melbourne University, The Melbourne Cricket Ground, and near Crown Casino with the towering banks and corporate giants gleaming in the night. It was great to be there in the night playing for these places and all they represent, with other christians huddled together in a circle arms around shoulders. To confront the darkness I guess, but it raised the questions "how can we change things?" and so on. A great time and on the way home with a mate, we were able to have a fantastic encouragement about struggles with godliness and lust and pride, and have another prayer session.
After that, I came in and had an incredible chat with a housemate. Gods ways are so mysterious in some regards but its just amazing to see the difference that truly depending on Him for a situation changes things. It's beyond comparison.
It just deeply brought home to me the need to be humble, the power God feely gives through prayer, and the futility of doing things without praying.
Prayerlessness = Carelessness. (among other evils)
At each place we prayed and asked God to transform things by His power. We went to Melbourne University, The Melbourne Cricket Ground, and near Crown Casino with the towering banks and corporate giants gleaming in the night. It was great to be there in the night playing for these places and all they represent, with other christians huddled together in a circle arms around shoulders. To confront the darkness I guess, but it raised the questions "how can we change things?" and so on. A great time and on the way home with a mate, we were able to have a fantastic encouragement about struggles with godliness and lust and pride, and have another prayer session.
After that, I came in and had an incredible chat with a housemate. Gods ways are so mysterious in some regards but its just amazing to see the difference that truly depending on Him for a situation changes things. It's beyond comparison.
It just deeply brought home to me the need to be humble, the power God feely gives through prayer, and the futility of doing things without praying.
Prayerlessness = Carelessness. (among other evils)
26.7.06
Romance and God's will.
I've been spending a time talking to God and listening to Him too lately, so I have lots of thoughts. I'm not really fussed when I write these Blog entries ie. the timeframe... they are a good way of "verbalising" my thoughts.
So just when I least expected it... I've become interested in a girl.
The words "its the last thing on my mind" still ringing in my ears from a conversation in early July.
I didn't plan it, although for the first time in ages, I guess I was warming to the idea that I would keep an eye out for Godly girls again. 3 years without anyone catching my eye really.
It's terribly inconvenient though!... She has lots of serious decisions to make and so do I. For that reason (and others) I've tried to play it carefully and quietly.
I didn't want her to know of my interest in any depth greater than "cool- a new friend". I don't want to distract her from listening to God's voice... hence the title...
I wear my heart on my sleeve though, and have been sending way too much obvious interest her way. Being a girl, she will doubt I like her and think back and forth perhaps... although her housemate is probably on to me too!! :) Either way I don't show interest in many girls.
Things I appreciate about her already: I love that she is mission focused (we both have desire to maybe serve overseas.) She also likes low profile ministries where she can help out and bring glory to God without getting caught up in pride. I've been hearing that she is a "good woman" from a number of people I trust. She's also a country girl which I'm attracted to, coz city chicks seem like they are on a different planet. She's active like me and people orintated (anyone withdrawn probably wouldn't be a good match for me.)
She can hold a frank conversation and seems to think well. She places a high emphasis on doing what God wants too.
My simplified character criterion for what I wish to embody as well as to find in a girl...
1) Humble
2) Unselfish
3) Good communication.
I guess I need to know her better before I can see how she fits those criterion. I'm commited to loving and serving a wife despite any faults she may have, but it seems to me that those 3 capture the essence of how I want to be transformed myself in Christ...
The decision process isn't easy... I've probably already gone to far in letting her know my interest in her... Had all intentions of quietly getting into her circles of operation to observe her.
I have many options to consider and there are conflicts... I want to wait for God's timing and listen to His voice on this one, my natural feeling is to go for it... so I'm trying to get God right into my feelings and so on surrounding it...
I'm thinking of getting her female housemate to keep me accountable and let me know if I can be more godly in my approach. I don't care much about looking stupid or getting knocked back, I'd still support her as a friend and be in prayer for her. I'm just don't want to start something I can't finish, or mess her up. There is always hearts risked in this process... but being the idealist I am I like to think they can be eliminated... which is obviously not the case. I probably just end up causing more trouble!!
Anyway... to this girl... I think you are lovely, you don't know that but I'm waiting for peace and God's timing on this one. I hope your heart isn't troubled... at this stage I'm pretty lightly involved, can get out with minimal impact on us both.
Once a christian girl's heart is stirred you can get their hopes up and so on. It scares me a bit that this has to be part of the whole thing.
Some of her friends may be a little interested in me also, but those concerns are lesser. In today's Aussie church and circles of young christians, its often common to see many more serious girls than guys... to the shame of male-kind... For me, it means girls are more interested in you, because there aren't many guys around, and a lot of them are waiting for a godly guy to come along. I seriously hope the Lord rewards their patience. I'm really trying to walk close to the Lord right now, so it will be natural for that to stand out... Not blowing my trumpet as much as observing reality. I have a LONG way to go yet. I've noticed the girls soak up encouragement like sponges though. Seems like they have beebn starved of male affirmation and christian love.
So just when I least expected it... I've become interested in a girl.
The words "its the last thing on my mind" still ringing in my ears from a conversation in early July.
I didn't plan it, although for the first time in ages, I guess I was warming to the idea that I would keep an eye out for Godly girls again. 3 years without anyone catching my eye really.
It's terribly inconvenient though!... She has lots of serious decisions to make and so do I. For that reason (and others) I've tried to play it carefully and quietly.
I didn't want her to know of my interest in any depth greater than "cool- a new friend". I don't want to distract her from listening to God's voice... hence the title...
I wear my heart on my sleeve though, and have been sending way too much obvious interest her way. Being a girl, she will doubt I like her and think back and forth perhaps... although her housemate is probably on to me too!! :) Either way I don't show interest in many girls.
Things I appreciate about her already: I love that she is mission focused (we both have desire to maybe serve overseas.) She also likes low profile ministries where she can help out and bring glory to God without getting caught up in pride. I've been hearing that she is a "good woman" from a number of people I trust. She's also a country girl which I'm attracted to, coz city chicks seem like they are on a different planet. She's active like me and people orintated (anyone withdrawn probably wouldn't be a good match for me.)
She can hold a frank conversation and seems to think well. She places a high emphasis on doing what God wants too.
My simplified character criterion for what I wish to embody as well as to find in a girl...
1) Humble
2) Unselfish
3) Good communication.
I guess I need to know her better before I can see how she fits those criterion. I'm commited to loving and serving a wife despite any faults she may have, but it seems to me that those 3 capture the essence of how I want to be transformed myself in Christ...
The decision process isn't easy... I've probably already gone to far in letting her know my interest in her... Had all intentions of quietly getting into her circles of operation to observe her.
I have many options to consider and there are conflicts... I want to wait for God's timing and listen to His voice on this one, my natural feeling is to go for it... so I'm trying to get God right into my feelings and so on surrounding it...
I'm thinking of getting her female housemate to keep me accountable and let me know if I can be more godly in my approach. I don't care much about looking stupid or getting knocked back, I'd still support her as a friend and be in prayer for her. I'm just don't want to start something I can't finish, or mess her up. There is always hearts risked in this process... but being the idealist I am I like to think they can be eliminated... which is obviously not the case. I probably just end up causing more trouble!!
Anyway... to this girl... I think you are lovely, you don't know that but I'm waiting for peace and God's timing on this one. I hope your heart isn't troubled... at this stage I'm pretty lightly involved, can get out with minimal impact on us both.
Once a christian girl's heart is stirred you can get their hopes up and so on. It scares me a bit that this has to be part of the whole thing.
Some of her friends may be a little interested in me also, but those concerns are lesser. In today's Aussie church and circles of young christians, its often common to see many more serious girls than guys... to the shame of male-kind... For me, it means girls are more interested in you, because there aren't many guys around, and a lot of them are waiting for a godly guy to come along. I seriously hope the Lord rewards their patience. I'm really trying to walk close to the Lord right now, so it will be natural for that to stand out... Not blowing my trumpet as much as observing reality. I have a LONG way to go yet. I've noticed the girls soak up encouragement like sponges though. Seems like they have beebn starved of male affirmation and christian love.
Glory Thieves.
I've been thinking about how we take glory for ourselves when God deserves it.
It really is absurd.
God by His grace, saves us through Jesus Christ and His death. We are spirital rebels, dead in our sin, enemies of God. But He saves us. Empowers us by His spirit to say "no" to sin, and defeats it's power and guilt in our lives. Then He gives us gifts, and leads us how to use them. He is the one who works in us to build and convict our hearts, to teach us truth and wisdom.
It's all His work, sure He chooses to use us in His sovereignty, but His absence from any part of the process would result in certain failure.
Then at the end of the day, we feel proud and seek our own glory. What foolish wickedness. God I repent of this terrible sin and ask that you will show me your Glory, and teach me to not seek mine...
song:
In my life LORD, be glorified... be glorified X2
In my life LORD, be glorified today
It really is absurd.
God by His grace, saves us through Jesus Christ and His death. We are spirital rebels, dead in our sin, enemies of God. But He saves us. Empowers us by His spirit to say "no" to sin, and defeats it's power and guilt in our lives. Then He gives us gifts, and leads us how to use them. He is the one who works in us to build and convict our hearts, to teach us truth and wisdom.
It's all His work, sure He chooses to use us in His sovereignty, but His absence from any part of the process would result in certain failure.
Then at the end of the day, we feel proud and seek our own glory. What foolish wickedness. God I repent of this terrible sin and ask that you will show me your Glory, and teach me to not seek mine...
song:
In my life LORD, be glorified... be glorified X2
In my life LORD, be glorified today
Surrender.
I think we can be guilty of a shallow view of surrendering to God. I know I am.
Take money. We may think "I have given X amount of money to God. -He is pleased." when we need to have the attitude of "everything that I have has been given to me by God, for His purposes and pleasure."
Take time. Every moment we live should be for God's pleasure and to see His will brought to pass through us. But we justify a lazy vege-out or indulging in some personal whim, or just plain procrastinate and babble foolishly. Our time has been bought with the blood of Christ...
"Don't be foolish but be wise and careful, redeem the time for the days are evil" - Ephesians.
All this wastage when souls are perishing and spiritual starvation is rampart, let alone the brothers and sisters that could be encouraged... I've been encouraged that God has been using me again after shedding some nasty time wasting habits. Now to battle my proud heart.
Take money. We may think "I have given X amount of money to God. -He is pleased." when we need to have the attitude of "everything that I have has been given to me by God, for His purposes and pleasure."
Take time. Every moment we live should be for God's pleasure and to see His will brought to pass through us. But we justify a lazy vege-out or indulging in some personal whim, or just plain procrastinate and babble foolishly. Our time has been bought with the blood of Christ...
"Don't be foolish but be wise and careful, redeem the time for the days are evil" - Ephesians.
All this wastage when souls are perishing and spiritual starvation is rampart, let alone the brothers and sisters that could be encouraged... I've been encouraged that God has been using me again after shedding some nasty time wasting habits. Now to battle my proud heart.
On Unity.
Some brief thoughts on christian unity. [edited for suitability in public domain!]
-If God required a certain percentage alignment between His Truth and our understanding of it before calling us one in Him, we'd be damned. Our view of Truth is so incredibly dim and often twisted by our finite minds, our "old man" and our deceitful hearts.
-Jesus prays in John 17 that believers would be one just as He and the Father are one, for the purpose of showing the world the truth about Him. Why is this unity such a rarity? Why do we place such an emphasis on correct knowledge, but spend far less time rebuking lovelessness and cold hearts?
-Knowledge of every divine mystery without love still leaves us with nothing. [1 Cor13]
-How much difference can there be between two brothers or sisters in Christ before God considers it to be a division and is grieved in His heart.
-If God required a certain percentage alignment between His Truth and our understanding of it before calling us one in Him, we'd be damned. Our view of Truth is so incredibly dim and often twisted by our finite minds, our "old man" and our deceitful hearts.
-Jesus prays in John 17 that believers would be one just as He and the Father are one, for the purpose of showing the world the truth about Him. Why is this unity such a rarity? Why do we place such an emphasis on correct knowledge, but spend far less time rebuking lovelessness and cold hearts?
-Knowledge of every divine mystery without love still leaves us with nothing. [1 Cor13]
-How much difference can there be between two brothers or sisters in Christ before God considers it to be a division and is grieved in His heart.
21.7.06
The Plan
I hope to make this a place to lay some of my thoughts in the semi-public domain. Who knows... someone else may be encouraged or inspired by it. At very least I alone will be able to look back and ponder. I think a lot.
About Me:
I love Jesus and seek to follow His path.
A young Christian man gaining an education and somewhat daunted by the future.
Challenged by the call to surrender:
dreams and plans, loves and desires. heartaches and throbs. Time and money.
About Me:
I love Jesus and seek to follow His path.
A young Christian man gaining an education and somewhat daunted by the future.
Challenged by the call to surrender:
dreams and plans, loves and desires. heartaches and throbs. Time and money.
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