Instant Gratification VS Marriage

We bring our consumer mentality to relationships. I wonder where the balance is though.

We say 'if the girl/guy doesn't have x,y,z... they must not be right for me, we wouldn't be suited.'
Thus we take the focus of our own growth and our own responsibility to be grow in God.

So what then is important to look for in relationships? Or is it wise to even ask such questions? Is blind commitment a better pathway?

Some of the problem comes because our whole relationship forming system is largely without biblical framework. Look for a biblical model of dating or courtship as we do it today and I don't seem to find one. It seems they didn't have this quasi period of semi-commitment... This no-man's land of neither possessing the freedoms of singleness, nor of the commitment and faithfulness to marriage.

All that said, I think a godly couple can truly honor God through the way they trust Him in their relationship, protecting each other at the same time as forming the basis for lifelong friendship and commitment.

I could say "give me a girl prepared to commit regardless and we can make it work with God's help"... but I don't think it is quite that simple either, in fact it is quite foolish.
We do need to be wise about who we are going to become one flesh with and there are many things to think through, I just think it is hard to find the balance between commitment and choice.

I think principles are more important to develop then specifics. ie. Make sure you work on great communication and sacrificial service. Work on things as they come up. As trust grows, the relationship can naturally handle harder issues and so on, as both people become more commited to making things work and putting in the hard yards.

Imagine being confronted on day one with all the differences between you, all the other person's weaknesses and bad habits... and forced to make a decision about marriage on the spot. There would be no weddings!!


There sure is plenty to trust God about, I wouldn't have a clue how to create something so complex and mysterious as a deeply loving marriage relationship between a man and woman.