Instant Gratification VS Marriage

We bring our consumer mentality to relationships. I wonder where the balance is though.

We say 'if the girl/guy doesn't have x,y,z... they must not be right for me, we wouldn't be suited.'
Thus we take the focus of our own growth and our own responsibility to be grow in God.

So what then is important to look for in relationships? Or is it wise to even ask such questions? Is blind commitment a better pathway?

Some of the problem comes because our whole relationship forming system is largely without biblical framework. Look for a biblical model of dating or courtship as we do it today and I don't seem to find one. It seems they didn't have this quasi period of semi-commitment... This no-man's land of neither possessing the freedoms of singleness, nor of the commitment and faithfulness to marriage.

All that said, I think a godly couple can truly honor God through the way they trust Him in their relationship, protecting each other at the same time as forming the basis for lifelong friendship and commitment.

I could say "give me a girl prepared to commit regardless and we can make it work with God's help"... but I don't think it is quite that simple either, in fact it is quite foolish.
We do need to be wise about who we are going to become one flesh with and there are many things to think through, I just think it is hard to find the balance between commitment and choice.

I think principles are more important to develop then specifics. ie. Make sure you work on great communication and sacrificial service. Work on things as they come up. As trust grows, the relationship can naturally handle harder issues and so on, as both people become more commited to making things work and putting in the hard yards.

Imagine being confronted on day one with all the differences between you, all the other person's weaknesses and bad habits... and forced to make a decision about marriage on the spot. There would be no weddings!!


There sure is plenty to trust God about, I wouldn't have a clue how to create something so complex and mysterious as a deeply loving marriage relationship between a man and woman.

Knowing His Voice

John 10:4
…When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice…

John 10:27
…My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me…

Sometimes I struggle to hear and know God’s voice. There to seems to be multiple voices to listen to, and quite often confusing and subtle attractions from them. Then sometimes heaven just seems quite silent and you seem to be praying to yourself.

Its scary that we can so quickly deceive ourselves too, thinking we hear the voice of God, when it is just the voice of persuasive man, or our own proud thoughts and biases channeling what we want to hear back to us, because “we have thought it through – we must be on God’s path”

If you are obedient and continually ask God to humble and challenge you, to submit to Him, I really believe His voice becomes so much clearer. Sin blocks out His voice like nothing else can, but obedience leads to hearing His voice quite clearly and a righteous walk before Him.

Doors Opening And Shutting.

I’m so excited to see God opening some doors. It’s great to throw yourself at God’s feet and say “use me wherever you want” but also amazing to be able to ask for specific opportunities to occur and witness Him move some boulders out of the road.

I was thinking of working part time as a Christian Union staff member and part time in an engineering consulting firm to consolidate my degree.

What firm would agree to that sort of contract? Well, I prayed and one did.

I had a secondary interview with the same firm, and said my plans had changed… to go to Uganda as an intern for several months with a Christian mission organisation. They were still happy, again I just see God opening doors and encouraging me to trust Him even more.

Nothing can stand in the way of His purpose. Not a red sea, not a tombstone.

Obey God in all things, humble yourself before Him. Then ask whatever you want and He will give it.

John 14:13
And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.

When Handshakes Are Not Enough

Seems when I catch up with my Christian bloke mates these days, we always embrace with man hugs. I used to think this was just because a previous generation of men had been slightly uncomfortable with their sexuality. Or perhaps emotionally restrained under the inference that they were a “tougher” man as a result of emotional coldness.

Looking around though, I see a general openness within society about sexual and general physical touch. I have to wonder whether it is a good thing or a bad. Whether it come straight from the TV/movie culture or whether it is a general cultural knee-jerk against a generation gone by.

I’m sure in generations past when two men shook hands heartily with nothing further, they meant it, and it was enough. These days it seems the handshake is just more for the person you don’t know so much or don’t expect to see again, but want to express some parting sentiment to.

Boundaries are a good thing and not allowing all emotions to gush forth is also good, but it’s an interesting phenomenon to think about where this additional thrust toward physical affection has spawned from...

Then there is the biblical precedent of “greeting each other with a holy kiss”, still an expression of affection within our society that has its share of presumption and assumption attached and I wouldn’t even think about kissing a good bloke mate, just doesn’t register as an option.

If I have a son, I would like to give him hugs and kisses growing up though. Cement into his character that his father loves him heaps, and that his Father loves him heaps too.