Well it's been a while. I've been on a really slow internet connection in Africa which made blogging a lot of effort. That combined with the fact that I was investing in my African Blog means no posts here for a while.
So kicking off again with a post about dependence. I have just been learning a lot that I can't depend on myself at all. My greatest failings can be pinpointed to times when I think I have adequate strength, wisdom or maturity to deal with something on my own. It seems like our heart attitude can very quickly become corrupt. From trust to self dependence.
Paul wrote "who put no confidence in the flesh." - Philippians. I'm learning that is a real challenge to do this. To put my confidence in Christ and rely on Him completely. But it is also the basic message of the gospel. Repent of your sinful ways, place your trust and hope in Christ to save you from the guilt and power of your sins here on Earth, and the presence of sin in Heaven.
When I inevitably fail by taking my eyes off Christ and trying to change something on my own, I need to accept His forgiveness, allow His joy and peace to fill me again, constant refreshment of grace.
Sometimes the son of Sinai in me (Galatians) rears his ugly head and presumes by keeping the law, he can earn a little of his own righteousness. Never works, and just leaves you in a worse position as you are then required to keep the entire law perfectly. I'd rather go with the grace option, still it is a struggle for me to accept and one of the areas I know I constantly need God's grace.
The amount of occasions I pray is a real indicator of where my dependence lies. If in myself, I will not pray, rather I will do my best to ensure my skills and my speech etc. make an impact. The fruitful option is prayerful dependence. I can't even transform the smallest area of my own life without God's help. How helpless I really am to change anyone else without the help of God...
Certainly a phrase that has begun to show up a lot in my prayers, and I know needs to feature a lot more, is "I commit", just turning things over to God, knowing they need to be entrusted to Him. Knowing that there is no insecurity He can't secure, no fear He can't still, no sin He can't defeat, no situation He is not sovereign in. It takes the worry away.
