Romance and God's will.

I've been spending a time talking to God and listening to Him too lately, so I have lots of thoughts. I'm not really fussed when I write these Blog entries ie. the timeframe... they are a good way of "verbalising" my thoughts.

So just when I least expected it... I've become interested in a girl.
The words "its the last thing on my mind" still ringing in my ears from a conversation in early July.
I didn't plan it, although for the first time in ages, I guess I was warming to the idea that I would keep an eye out for Godly girls again. 3 years without anyone catching my eye really.

It's terribly inconvenient though!... She has lots of serious decisions to make and so do I. For that reason (and others) I've tried to play it carefully and quietly.
I didn't want her to know of my interest in any depth greater than "cool- a new friend". I don't want to distract her from listening to God's voice... hence the title...

I wear my heart on my sleeve though, and have been sending way too much obvious interest her way. Being a girl, she will doubt I like her and think back and forth perhaps... although her housemate is probably on to me too!! :) Either way I don't show interest in many girls.

Things I appreciate about her already: I love that she is mission focused (we both have desire to maybe serve overseas.) She also likes low profile ministries where she can help out and bring glory to God without getting caught up in pride. I've been hearing that she is a "good woman" from a number of people I trust. She's also a country girl which I'm attracted to, coz city chicks seem like they are on a different planet. She's active like me and people orintated (anyone withdrawn probably wouldn't be a good match for me.)
She can hold a frank conversation and seems to think well. She places a high emphasis on doing what God wants too.

My simplified character criterion for what I wish to embody as well as to find in a girl...
1) Humble
2) Unselfish
3) Good communication.

I guess I need to know her better before I can see how she fits those criterion. I'm commited to loving and serving a wife despite any faults she may have, but it seems to me that those 3 capture the essence of how I want to be transformed myself in Christ...


The decision process isn't easy... I've probably already gone to far in letting her know my interest in her... Had all intentions of quietly getting into her circles of operation to observe her.
I have many options to consider and there are conflicts... I want to wait for God's timing and listen to His voice on this one, my natural feeling is to go for it... so I'm trying to get God right into my feelings and so on surrounding it...

I'm thinking of getting her female housemate to keep me accountable and let me know if I can be more godly in my approach. I don't care much about looking stupid or getting knocked back, I'd still support her as a friend and be in prayer for her. I'm just don't want to start something I can't finish, or mess her up. There is always hearts risked in this process... but being the idealist I am I like to think they can be eliminated... which is obviously not the case. I probably just end up causing more trouble!!

Anyway... to this girl... I think you are lovely, you don't know that but I'm waiting for peace and God's timing on this one. I hope your heart isn't troubled... at this stage I'm pretty lightly involved, can get out with minimal impact on us both.

Once a christian girl's heart is stirred you can get their hopes up and so on. It scares me a bit that this has to be part of the whole thing.

Some of her friends may be a little interested in me also, but those concerns are lesser. In today's Aussie church and circles of young christians, its often common to see many more serious girls than guys... to the shame of male-kind... For me, it means girls are more interested in you, because there aren't many guys around, and a lot of them are waiting for a godly guy to come along. I seriously hope the Lord rewards their patience. I'm really trying to walk close to the Lord right now, so it will be natural for that to stand out... Not blowing my trumpet as much as observing reality. I have a LONG way to go yet. I've noticed the girls soak up encouragement like sponges though. Seems like they have beebn starved of male affirmation and christian love.

Glory Thieves.

I've been thinking about how we take glory for ourselves when God deserves it.

It really is absurd.
God by His grace, saves us through Jesus Christ and His death. We are spirital rebels, dead in our sin, enemies of God. But He saves us. Empowers us by His spirit to say "no" to sin, and defeats it's power and guilt in our lives. Then He gives us gifts, and leads us how to use them. He is the one who works in us to build and convict our hearts, to teach us truth and wisdom.

It's all His work, sure He chooses to use us in His sovereignty, but His absence from any part of the process would result in certain failure.

Then at the end of the day, we feel proud and seek our own glory. What foolish wickedness. God I repent of this terrible sin and ask that you will show me your Glory, and teach me to not seek mine...

song:
In my life LORD, be glorified... be glorified X2
In my life LORD, be glorified today

Surrender.

I think we can be guilty of a shallow view of surrendering to God. I know I am.

Take money. We may think "I have given X amount of money to God. -He is pleased." when we need to have the attitude of "everything that I have has been given to me by God, for His purposes and pleasure."

Take time. Every moment we live should be for God's pleasure and to see His will brought to pass through us. But we justify a lazy vege-out or indulging in some personal whim, or just plain procrastinate and babble foolishly. Our time has been bought with the blood of Christ...
"Don't be foolish but be wise and careful, redeem the time for the days are evil" - Ephesians.

All this wastage when souls are perishing and spiritual starvation is rampart, let alone the brothers and sisters that could be encouraged... I've been encouraged that God has been using me again after shedding some nasty time wasting habits. Now to battle my proud heart.

On Unity.

Some brief thoughts on christian unity. [edited for suitability in public domain!]

-If God required a certain percentage alignment between His Truth and our understanding of it before calling us one in Him, we'd be damned. Our view of Truth is so incredibly dim and often twisted by our finite minds, our "old man" and our deceitful hearts.

-Jesus prays in John 17 that believers would be one just as He and the Father are one, for the purpose of showing the world the truth about Him. Why is this unity such a rarity? Why do we place such an emphasis on correct knowledge, but spend far less time rebuking lovelessness and cold hearts?

-Knowledge of every divine mystery without love still leaves us with nothing. [1 Cor13]

-How much difference can there be between two brothers or sisters in Christ before God considers it to be a division and is grieved in His heart.

The Plan

I hope to make this a place to lay some of my thoughts in the semi-public domain. Who knows... someone else may be encouraged or inspired by it. At very least I alone will be able to look back and ponder. I think a lot.

About Me:
I love Jesus and seek to follow His path.
A young Christian man gaining an education and somewhat daunted by the future.
Challenged by the call to surrender:
dreams and plans, loves and desires. heartaches and throbs. Time and money.